Fashion For Your Face
Hi! A quickie before I go try not to cry about the havoc my pup wreaked as I put this post together. I only really do “beauty” stuff when it feels the same as putting on an outfit, hardly ever to make myself “look better,” more power to you if that’s how you roll, but it just doesn’t do anything for me to try for a Natural Look. The below looks are highly UNnatural, extremely deliberate, and incredibly invigorating, and I predict/hope/pray that they will wheedle their ways into the collective conscious this Spring/Summer season.
You are so cool for being here. If anyone has any end-of-your-puppy-rope tips that don’t involve surreptitious doses of Benadryl, please DM me. :’)
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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.
Nouveau Hair Net
A net, made of hair, preferably hiding something
The “Zac Efron as Link” Curl
Finally, the recognition he deserves, styled thick and face-covering, slick and painterly, or pert and retro, dealer’s choice
Blades of Glory
Gel your (hopefully neon-dyed) hair into functional scythes or other such weaponry
Nail Growths
Amoebic, fungal, and other microscopic agglomerations are literally at your fingertips
Dirty Shirley
Bring a dose of slightly spooky, Alia Shawkat-style sexiness to a haircut that was once only associated with Little Orphan Annie with a dark color and insouciant, beadhead-y styling
Bo Peep in the Front, Whatever in the Back
Two bowed-up or dip-dyed braids like Hasidic peyot hang in the front, and what happens in the back is no one’s business but your own
Face-Scape
Remember “ear-scapes?” Now it’s time to colonize the territory of your mug with real or faux perforations
Pinkeye
Easy as pie: just smear a bright red lipstick under your eyes with as much or little precision as you care to, then smudge out in a vaguely catlike direction—a variation on the infallible Fabulous Stains look
Grab Bag
Lashes in the center of the eyes only + eyebrows like a crayon drawing by a grade schooler = demure, devastating drag
An unforgiving swath of creamy navy ringing the eyes + bleached/no brows + terracotta lip
Tooth dye that makes it look like you forgot to rinse off your Crest
Stars as brows and hickies + a buzz cut with errant skipped-over curlicues and splotches of color
Animanga-inspired, illustrative temporary extensions—you can buy this designer’s in many places, including here
Ok, time to dose MYSELF with Benadryl, slip in my earplugs, and wait until the wailing ceases—yes, she has food, water, has peed, pooped, exercised, has toys… this is just One Of Those Nights. Hope yours is a bit more peaceful.
<3 HR