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How to Dress Like You're In Baldur's Gate 3 - Part 1
Calling all hot nerds!
Hellllllo! If you’ve made one false move on your TikTok For You page, chances are high that for the past few weeks, you’ve been inundated with horned-up edits of a certain vampiric elf set to this particular song. If not, you’re probably on the Baldur’s Gate 3 side of TikTok on purpose, having logged an unthinkable amount of hours committing unspeakable atrocities (like romancing Gale) in the past few weeks.
Or perhaps, you just don’t know what I’m talking about, in which case, I’m honestly not going to give you any props, because I think that following Gen Z’s cultural whims is actually the sign of a well-adjusted member of today’s society, but you’re here now, and I’ll fill you in: BG3 is a newly-released CRPG (Computer Role Playing Game)—essentially, it’s Dungeons and Dragons but will RUIN your Macbook’s storage capabilities. It’s ostensibly a battle-driven game, but even the most orthodox gamers have been seduced by the incredibly sexy character designs, sensual voice acting, and…Well, mostly, everyone just wants this guy.
I am no better than the writhing masses, but there is a unique twist to my twisted lust: I was immediately interested in the clothes you can doll your favorites up in, especially since they seemed weirdly trendy, a thought I realized came from the unique school of design that’s been emerging in the past few fashion seasons—a sort of techno-traditionalism, kind of like if retro-futurism meant medieval ravers. Think bloomers and lace-up peasant blouses in neon lycra, sculptural sweaters jacquard knit with runic symbols, mutton-sleeved Going Out Tops. The brands that immediately came to mind while I combed through Astarion’s wardrobe were:
Below is the first half of a two-part dump of clothes you can buy online inspired by and riffing off of a selection of my favorite outfits from Baldur’s Gate 3, as well as the general vibes of the game and my ideas of how the characters would dress in 2023—not cosplay, but “dressing in character.”
Part two will be for paid subscribers, so sign up here (it’a a special link that’ll get you two monthly bonus posts for a dollar each!) if you’re interested in even more cyber-wenchery—I’ll throw a few vintage/secondhand finds in to this post, but most will be reserved for part two—this is where the more affordable stuff will be, for the most part!
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Note: All character images are screenshots from videos by Lootward!
This is one of my favorite fits of the bunch, probably because it is indistinguishable from a look that would’ve traipsed down the runway at Paolina Russo’s incredible SS24 show. The skintight, patterned leggings, the vaguely armor-like shape of the top (well, at least the “male” version), the COLOR STORY (I especially love how pink is made kind of eerie, definitely digitized, unnatural, de-Barbiefied here)…don’t tell me you don’t see it:
My other favorite technopagan-y, Legend of Zelda-core brand is Eirocori, and its price points are legions more accessible than PR’s:
Laser patterns are a no-brainer:
Weird padding makes sense here:
Shoulder details and this olive green are big yeses:
These shoes are a perfect base (though Paolina-esque cycling/climbimg/water shoes would also be great, see my last post for more on that):
As would these (I didn’t get a good picture, but the characters often wear red shin guard-ish spats):
Or fore something more chilled-out, less Karlach:
I saw these fits and was immediately like: Astarion would never wear KNWLS! Shadowheart would CERTAINLY wear Isa Boulder, though. Both brands’ leathery, laced-up, wood-nymph-at-Berghain aesthetics are very BG3-appropriate.
The extremely low-dipping neckline is on point:
As is this mossy green:
Jean Paul Gaultier is another brand that makes pieces in this camp:
Leather riding pants and chaps are also great:
Especially with oxblood detailing:
This criss-cross halter neck and the berry and pine color palette is festive without feeling Santa Claus:
Finally, some non-cheesy mutton sleeves, riding pants, and tunics for the road (or the club):
Sign up here for part 2, and godspeed, whether you’re traveling to Baldur’s Gate or Nowadays in your getup.
Lastly: I am looking for a job, urgently, and if you help me find one, I will give you free HR for life! Details here.