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I Spy With My Discerning Little Eye
My kingdom for a silly ol' trend!
I love trend-spotting because I like making bets with God. Only if they’re kind of funny. The following speculative trends are all a little off-kilter, but I have seen enough shoppable iterations of them from sufficiently forward-thinking designers that I am willing to put my money (internet cred) where my mouth (fingers) is (are). Let’s see what happens with these weirdo racehorses over the next six months, and if any of them come true, God said it (I believe God is the neural network-like gestalt of every single thing in the universe, the impossible reification of infinity) will grant me the non-stubby nail beds I’ve always dreamed of. Exciting stuff! Lots of explicitly gender-inclusive items and styles in this roundup, which I’m glad for. Hope you are doing well!
Oh, and, if you want to read more of my less fashion-oriented writing, check out this article about the best books of poetry and this one on the best YouTube rabbit hole entrances that I curated, wrote, and edited for passerby. Leave a comment if you like them to make me look good so I can do more passion projects. ;)
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Following the asymmetrical pants trend as pioneered by the likes of my friend Sara, I think the asymmetrical sleeve wave is only a motion away. I especially love the extended sleeve tank below for its disconcerting subtlety.
Now that the awful TikTok GRWM headband has gone the way of Silly Bandz (watch Silly Bandz come back next year), I think it’s time we got a little more creative and disarming with our headpieces. I adore the knit hat based on a traditional Ukranian silhouette below.
If you subscribe to my bonus posts (for $2 or less a month via this link!), you already know. If you shipped Achilles and Patroclus, you’ve known for a long time. I especially love the idea of a utility sandal, following in the steps of Nicole McLaughlin’s Vans collab, shoes with pockets seem prudent enough to me.
Cardigans and button-downs could use a little Joker moment.
They gotta be nerdy but have a color scheme that Really Makes You Think, both structure AND slouch, and thin stripes, nothing referee-style.
I’ve been seeing these around my internet hidey-holes, and recommended similar pants in this post half a year ago… Just saying…
Victorian-Style Hand Belts
I saw a photo of a vintage, 70s-does-Victorian Hand Belt and was enchanted. A new saved search on Etsy.
Complicating the Corset
Corset but make it sloppy, or casual, or tone down the sex, or wear one for breastfeeding… or… Oh god, this reminds me that you have to listen to this episode of The Juice, Solomon Georgio’s very good podcast. You can skip to 34 minutes in if you, like me, have a gnat-like attention span, but it’s a good pod in general. You’ll see why that corset is relevant… Godspeed!
Jeans with gloves that mime a slo-mo ass slap, fashion lactation (easy DIY for some of you, it just takes like nine months), and earrings wearing earrings. I think body horror is going to morph into a more tame, wearable, humorous trend of visual gags.
Hoodies With Ears
Snuggly. Cute. WHY NOT?
This was fun! Please feel free to hang out with me on Instagram and, especially if you’re a subscriber, send in requests for posts. I love to have an assignment *nerd emoji*.